ah, jet lag

The point of this post is basically just to express that jet lag is the absolute WORST.  Also, I want to take a nap but I know that's a terrible idea, and I can't sleep and type at the same time, so here we go.

For those of you who have never traveled internationally, let me walk you through a day following an international flight.

14+ hours on the plane - you try to calculate exactly how many hours you should sleep to avoid jet lag, how many muscle relaxers/Tylenol PM/Airborne/vitamins you should take, and how much water you can drink without having to climb over your aisle-mates every hour on the hour. you hear ever cough/sniffle/sneeze within a fifty seat radius and wonder if it's possible to overdose on Airborne.  watch the first half of seven different movies, falling asleep before actually finishing any of them.  around hour 8 make the mistake of checking the "flight status" screen and realize you're just over halfway there...this flight is never going to end.  eventually you land and try to stuff your double-their-normal-size swollen feet back into your shoes.  stumble sleepily through customs on your noodley legs, wrestle your 50.5lb suitcase off the conveyor belt, and buy a ticket for the shuttle home.  2 1/2 more hours of sitting on the bus, not that you'll remember any of it.  you'll be comatose before you leave the parking lot. arrive at the bus station and pay 5 times what you know is a reasonable taxi fare because you're just. ready. to. be. home.

9:00pm - collapse onto your bed, praying jet lag will pass you over just this once.

1:30am - wide awake, willing yourself to go back to sleep

2:30am - check email, Facebook, Instagram.  text a friend who's either a)in the US or b)also jet lagging

3:00am - get a snack

3:30am - pray for mercy -- just a few more hours of sleep.  take another Tylenol PM

4:00am - finally doze off

6:00am - alarm goes off - straight to the kitchen for some coffee.

10:00am - more coffee

12:00pm - feeling good

12:05pm - burst into tears for no apparent reason

2:00pm - start to hit a wall... a nap sounds really great right about now.

4:00pm - a nap?  NO!

5:00pm - watching the clock...waiting for a reasonable bedtime to roll around

6:00pm - can I go to bed yet???  maybe coffee will help.

7:00pm - try to justify going to bed...decide you can make it one more hour

8:00pm - unconscious on the couch

1:30am - wide awake

...and so it continues...