Thanks to my good friend Jet Lag I've been up since about 6am, so this blog post may end up being just random early morning ramblings...we'll see how it goes. :)
So far I absolutely love China...I feel like my heart belongs here. I love being in the minority, observing a new culture, experiencing new places and foods, picking up bits and pieces of a new language. I love the quirky things Chinese people do and the hustle and bustle around our apartment complex. I love all of the sights and sounds (not so much the smells) of my new home. I'm sure some of those things will get old eventually, but for now those are the things that make me smile.
Just like with anything, when you move overseas you have to take the good with the bad. China is certainly not exempt from that rule. *DISCLAIMER* My intention here is not to be Negative Nancy but to share some honest realities of my move to China so far.
I had a really amazing community in Dayton. There were people there who knew my story, understood my heart, and loved me anyway. In my adult life I've never really been in a place where I didn't have at least one close friend nearby who knew me deeply and loved me anyway. The reality of my situation now is that there isn't a single person in the whole country who gets me...no one here knows my heart. Hopefully that will come with time, but for now it's hard to get up every day and know that my community is so far away. I'm not someone who can survive solely with surface-deep, superficial relationships, so it's kind of lonely seeing the amazing community that's been built here in Tianjin and being on the outside of it looking in, while also seeing the community I left in Dayton going on without me. I know that my security and comfort come from Him and that His grace is sufficient, but I also know that my Creator made me for community and not for isolation. I believe that He will provide close community for me in time, but right now it's hard being in this weird sort of limbo.
It's also hard being so dependent on others. As a 26-year-old single woman, I'm used to doing everything for myself. Now I have to depend on others for almost everything - to speak for me, drive me, direct me, etc, etc. I don't think it's all bad...It is teaching me humility and I think this is how community here begins, but it's certainly a change and a new way of thinking. I'm itching to get a bike so at least I can have moments of independence!
Even though it's tough and my heart is a little overwhelmed, I'm so, so excited to be here! I love having familiar faces right here in my apartment complex. Last night some of the other staff invited me over for dinner and it took me like 2 minutes to walk down to their apartment. That's pretty awesome! Then we went to another apartment to watch a movie...another 2 minute walk! More than the familiar faces, I love seeing new faces and am looking forward to when I have enough language to say more to them than, "Ni hao!" :) Something else I love about Yang Guang (my apartment complex) specifically is Shopping Street. There is a whole street lined with little shops. They sell everything from produce to meat to hardware. There's a dry cleaner, a bank, a grocery store, Korean restaurants, a post office...everything you can think of! I've always preferred to support local businesses instead of chain stores, so I love that I can go down the street and buy things from a person instead of a corporation. I'm excited to start establishing shops where I go regularly and get to know the shop owners.
I could go on and on about the good and bad of China, but I think that will suffice for now. So please keep me in mind as I'm finding my place in the community here...it's not easy, but I believe it's going to be so worth it!
Bye for now! :)
Mollie be encouraged that you don't have to go as far as China to struggle with community. Ever since getting married Dan and I have really struggled with finding a community. I get it, I really do. It's just EVEN harder in another country! Be encouraged that if you see a great community from the outside that at some point you will find yourself smack in the middle of it and you won't be 100% sure how you got there. The people sound wonderful and I think once you get into the swing of school and work you'll find a lot less time to worry about connecting with people and it'll just happen.
ReplyDeleteI love hearing about where you're living. The apartment, the stores, the people. It truly sounds like you are going to have an amazing 2 years. Oh yeah the smells though....those won't go away. Have you seen a toddler pee on the sidewalk yet?
Thank you, Kari!! :) And YES, I saw a baby peeing on the sidewalk just this afternoon. And split pants?!? Um, excuse me?? It's just so, so different.
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