ECC Walk Through Bethlehem

Here are some pictures from this week's Christmas Celebration - A Walk Through Bethlehem. My class dressed as wise men and they were the CUTEST little magi EVER!  They did a great job performing their song (Little Drummer Boy), too!

Rehearsal

 Ready for the big performance!

These photos were taken during the Walk Through Bethlehem.  It was such a whirlwind! Our task was to wrap gifts for the newborn King.  The other stations were set up like a stable with Mary, Joseph, baby J., shepherds, and sheep.  There were "villagers" passing out snacks and "Christmas stars" singing and dancing.  The art teacher even dressed as a villager and set up a pottery station.  It was an exciting time!  After the Walk Through Bethlehem was over, we made our way to the auditorium to perform our songs.

They were so adorable! The parents had a great time, and it was so beautiful to hear the kids sing about the love of the Father and the miraculous birth of the Son. There's something so wonderful about hearing the Truth of Christmas from the mouths of children. 

All four classes performing together

This isn't the best picture, but my kids wrapped these presents during the "Walk Through Bethlehem" and then laid them in front of the manger before we went on stage.  Precious.

Hopefully I'll get ahold of some more pictures of my class singing and playing their coffee can drums.  It was such a crazy night I didn't get a single picture of them singing.  Thankfully I happened to remember to grab my camera during a few of the other performances.

The next display of kindergarten cuteness will be at Kindergarten graduation in the spring.  Stay tuned for more adorable pictures. :)

those eyes...

I took this photo as I was leaving the orphanage on Saturday.

These faces are so precious to me, but the saddness in their eyes break my heart.
This is their reality. 

I look at this picture and I think of Psalm 88:9.
My eye grows dim through sorrow.  Every day I call upon you, O Lord; I spread out my hands to you.

The NLT puts it this way: 

Each day I beg for your help, O Lord; I lift my hands to you for mercy.

I pray that someday they will know His mercy, love, comfort, and healing...

...For in You the orphan finds mercy.
Hosea 14:3

Waiting

"Wait"... one of my least favorite words in the English language.  Ironically, it's one of the first Chinese words I learned. 

I'm incredibly thankful for where I am in life - for the rich experiences I'm having, the amazing friends and family who support me, and a career that is so perfect for me.  I have been blessed beyond measure. At the same time, there's a small part of me that often feels like I'm trapped in this perpetual state of waiting.  I see many of my friends getting married and having children...and having more children, and though I genuinely, joyfully celebrate with them, I can't ignore the sting deep within my soul.  Well-meaning people say, "Hang in there."  And hang I continue to do.  But sometimes the hanging is just too much -- too exhausting -- and I want to rest my weary grip for a while.  

I'm convinced that waiting is one of the most trying things in life.  It's also something that can so easily cause us to turn inward and lose sight of the big picture...to lose sight of the hurting, waiting people around us.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope. 

Psalm 130:5

I've been learning something lately.  I'm not the only person in the world waiting for something, and contrary to what I might like to think, it's not all about me. I know...shocking.

God has been so gracious to me.  He's opened my eyes to a different kind of waiting, and He's given me beautiful moments of taking my eyes off of my own waiting, uncertainty, disappointments, and fears. He's shown me the aching of others' hearts, and he's put me in a position to love them in the midst of it.

The amazing thing is I feel like I've finally given myself permission to stop "hanging in there," to let go of my death grip on the future I wanted and planned for myself, and to deeply love others during a time when I am also in a state of waiting and uncertainty, just like them.  And you know what?  I'm in really good company.

There are children who have been waiting for years for even one person to love them...one person to fight for them...one person to want them.  They wait day after day, year after year, often in a crib by themselves.  Lord, comfort their hearts as they wait. It's a suffering so profound...so deep.  And for some, there's no end in sight. I'm so grateful that God has helped me take my eyes off of myself long enough to see the needs of these sweet children.  They have changed my perspective in more ways than they will ever know.

Within the past several weeks, I've been introduced to another kind of waiting.  I've been in contact with some amazing families who are waiting to bring their children home from the orphanage in Tianjin and others in China.  Their wait is like nothing I've ever experienced. They have fallen in love with these child that they have never met.  Sometimes they go months at a time without any sort of update, and all the time they are wondering if their child is safe, warm, fed, healthy, and cared for. I have been so humbled by the opportunity to comfort a few of these parents, if only by loving their children while they wait. When I moved to China I never expected to be in this position, but the Lord has graciously allowed me to be a bridge between these parents and their children. What a precious gift those emails are.  

I would love to be a mommy to these kids.  I'm waiting until I can finally call one of them...or several of them... my own.  BUT, in the meantime, my heavenly Father who loves me and knows my heart-- who created my heart-- has given me the privilege of helping and loving others as they wait. 

photo not mine

I'm so unbelievably grateful that God is teaching me how to love better.  Each time I pray over these babies, I see the heart of God more clearly.  With every email to a waiting parent, I understand God's love for me a little more.  And at the end of the day, I know Him better.  

I just finished rereading a book titled Radical.  This quote often comes to mind:
"But the gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart. New desires.  New longings.  For the first time, we want God. We see our need for him, and we love him. We seek after him, and we find him, and we discover that he is indeed the great reward of our salvation. We realize that we are not saved just to be forgiven of our sins or to be assured of our eternity in heaven, but we are saved to know God.  So we yearn for him.  We want him so much that we abandon everything else to experience him.  This is the only proper response to the revelation of God in the gospel." 

So, as we wait, wait with the knowledge that God himself is, indeed, our reward and the hope of our salvation.

Our Help

"If the LORD had not been my help,

My soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence.

If I should say, “My foot has slipped,”

Your lovingkindness, O LORD, will hold me up.

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Your consolations delight my soul."  Psalm 94: 17-19

All too often I find myself worrying about my future...

...or their future...

But I know the One who holds my future in His hands...

 who holds their futures.

 He is our Comforter, our Father, our Provider...

Our El Roi.  He sees me...He sees them...and He is our help.

Clown Bus

Today was one of those days when the city bus felt more like a clown car.

Let me start from the beginning.

This morning my friend Andrea and I left home to go to the orphanage.  We ran to catch the bus, only to find about a million people had gotten there first.  We had a little time to spare, so we waited for the next bus.  Again, we couldn't bring ourselves to hurl our bodies into the sea of passengers, so we decided to take a taxi.  We waited...and waited...and waited.  Finally we decided that every taxi driver in the city was either on strike or has the flu, so we took a different, less crowded bus. An hour later, we arrived at the orphanage.

Fast forward several hours...

I had done some Christmas shopping and I was exhausted.  I waited for the bus, and once again it was super crowded. I was ready to be home, so I took a deep breath and got on.  If you've never experienced the super awkward feeling of having your backside smooshed up against some stranger's, be thankful.  I shifted around the aisle trying to free my body from all of the awkward touching until the guy sitting in front of me got up and I nabbed his seat. Interestingly, a ton of people got on at every stop, but no one ever seemed to get off. A lady started to puke somewhere in the back, but I couldn't drown out the sound because I lost my headphones earlier this week.   More people squeezed on.  No one got off.  The bus driver started yelling at people, "Go to the back door!" and they would run to the exit door and wedge themselves into the group of people already spilling out of the bus.  More stops...more yelling...more squeezing.  At one point I thought about getting off early and walking home, but as I looked at the distance between myself and the exit door, I decided it wasn't worth the risk.  When it was finally my turn to get off the bus, I couldn't get through the crowd.  I kept yelling "xia che!  xia che!" but people were trying to get on as I was trying to get off, and I barely pushed my way through these old ladies who were firmly standing their ground just as the bus was closing its doors to pull away.

I will say that despite all the craziness, I really appreciate the determination of Chinese people who, no matter how many people are in a bus, subway, or elevator, always insist that there's room for one more.

So many little things

The past week has been really crazy.  Crazy and amazing.  It's left me feeling thankful for so many little things...


-Global Friendship-
I met my friend J when she was a grad student a few years ago.  We became fast friends and had lots of fun together.  Then, when I told her I had decided to move to China, it "just so happens" that I would be moving to her hometown. She was a huge encouragement to me while I was preparing to move overseas.  Then I moved to her hometown, leaving her behind in mine.  For a year we were friends oceans apart.  Now, a year later, she's returned to Tianjin and we've continued our friendship on the same continent--in the same city--again.  I had dinner with her a few days ago, and we've decided that we are Chinese/American twins who have been blessed enough to find one another.

-School Diversity-
I'm so thankful to be part of a school that is SO diverse.  We have 20+ nationalities represented in our school.  On Tuesday of this week I took my students on a field trip to a "farm."  It's nothing like the farm we imagine in our American minds, but it's a farm nonetheless.  Many of my students' parents came with us, and as three generations of people from all over the world sat around our picnic blankets sharing peanut butter sandwiches, kimbap, tofu, and fruit, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for the diversity around me.

On Thursday, we celebrated International Day.  Our students were encouraged to dress up in clothes that represent their passport countries, and let me just say, there's nothing cuter than preschoolers in kimonos, qipaos, and hanboks. .  Again, I was reminded that diversity is SUCH a beautiful gift.

-English Corner-
I returned to English Corner this week...finally!  I've been gone since June, and I had started to feel like a piece of the puzzle was missing, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  Then I went to English Corner and I remembered - those college students were the missing piece. I can't think of a better way to spend my Saturday evenings!

-Progress-
I saw sweet Shen Shen smile for the first time in months.  Thank you, Lord.

-Unexpected Phone Call-
Today my phone rang, and as has become my habit, I didn't answer the unknown caller.  Then I immediately got a text.  "I am Sally."  Sally was my student two years ago at FPS.  She's Chinese, and she spent the whole year impressing me with her quick English learning and teaching me some simple Chinese to get me started in China.  She's back in China now, and her family has invited me to come to their home and visit next month.  I am beside myself excited to see her!  It's amazing how I've seen my worlds collide this year.

I am so blessed.

Beijing with the Masses

I spent National Day in Beijing last week.  I guess the past 365 days were crazy enough to make me forget how insane Beijing is during the October holiday, so I went back again this year...along with several million of my closest Chinese friends.

I love the patriotism on display in Beijing during the National Holiday. 

I got to travel with my good friend Bekah.  It was her first time in Beijing, and what better way to experience it than during the most crowded time of the year!! 

Thankfully Bekah shares my Starbucks obsession. 

We hit a lot of the sights I've seen before, but there are some things that are just as exciting for me the fourth time as they were the first time, like the Great Wall.

I'm pretty sure I'll never go back to Beijing during National Day, but it's something I'm glad I've experienced and I'm thankful for the memories! 

RanRan's New Shoes

I love this sweet boy. 

I visit him every Saturday and sometimes I'm lucky enough to get a phone call from him during the week.  He never ceases to amaze me.  He's funny and so smart. And look at that face! What a cutie!

RR is usually in his bed when I see him on Saturdays, but he does physical therapy during the week.  He didn't have any shoes, so we recently got him a new pair.  He was so excited when we gave them to him. He was also very excited about his neon green socks.  We put on his new shoes, and then he showed me how he can stand holding onto his bed.  

I'm so thankful he is a part of my life!  He's such a blessing. 

ten...years...

Recently I was notified that it's almost time for my ten year high school reunion.

Ten years.  A decade.  Shí nián.  十年.

After the initial shock and depression over my age passed, I started thinking about everything that's happened over the past ten years...all of the ups and downs.  My life doesn't look anything like I thought it would, but I'm so thankful that God has used my time since high school to give me amazing adventures, grow my faith, and make Himself so real to me.  During these ten years I...

1. finished my Bachelor's Degree in almost 4 years.
2. spent a month in Chile.
3. got my first teaching job.
4. lost my dad to cancer.
5. bought a house.
6. bought and then immediately gave away two dogs (on two separate occasions).
7. made some amazing friends, and saw many of them get married and have babies.
8. was blessed to be part of two amazing house churches.
9. was laid off and re-hired by the same school three years in a row.
10. moved to China.

...and much, much more.

 I'm so thankful for this unique, unexpected life!

Saturday Mornings

This place makes my heart feel so full and so broken...such joy and such sorrow. 

Oh, my heart

I love this little boy so much.  

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

John 1:5

I so many so many walked

This past week we have had some BEAUTIFUL end-of-summer weather in Tianjin!  I am so thankful that the humidity has died down and we can all breathe again.  Friday was especially beautiful, so after a long week of work I decided to go for a relaxing bike ride by myself down to the river. 

Not long after I took this picture, I was cruising along thinking how wonderful it is that I can go somewhere on my bike and not have to carry a purse or worry about running out of gas.  Suddenly, I felt everything under me shift and I felt myself starting to go down.  I pulled my bike over and hopped off just as my bike seat and all of its attachments flew into the middle of the road.  I was so confused...what just happened?  I gathered all of the pieces from the bike lane and assessed the damage. 

As I was considering my options, I took out my phone to turn off my bike app.  I've been tracking my rides for the past few weeks and I've been waiting and waiting for it to hit 100 miles.  And what do you know...the minute my seat fell off, I hit 100 miles.  Happy 100 miles to me. 

So, there I was, stranded on the side of the road.  There was nothing on the bottom of the seat to hold it to the post, and the screws were all broken.  It was rush hour, so I knew even if there was a taxi driver somewhere in this city nice enough to put my broken bike in his car, he had already been hired by someone with smaller problems than me.  I didn't know what else to do, so I started walking the 5ish miles back toward my apartment.  I walked...and I walked...and I walked.  

I passed a taxi driver washing his car with a bucked of water from the stinky canal (counterproductive if you ask me), so I stopped and asked him for help.  He tried to fix my bike seat and then I explained to him that I actually just wanted a ride home.  He said some derivative of "There's no way I'm putting your bike in my car," so I took my seat back, stuck it back under my arm, started crying, and continued walking.  

Sometime later, I finally came to a place that looked familiar.  By this time I had been walking for at least an hour.  I decided to try and make it to the shopping area where I bought the bike, and I also decided I was tired of walking.  (I had made the poor decision to wear flip flops on this journey.)  I made my way toward a less crowded street and decided I was going to try riding the bike.  I balanced the seat on the post and carefully sat down.  I turned on my blinking "headlight" proceeded to clown-pedal all the way to emart, with my knees up near my armpits and my toes clinging to the pedals.  With every bump my seat shifted slightly sideways. 

I finally reached emart only to discover that the bike store was closed.  At 7pm.  On a Friday night.  Ughhh!  So I weighed my options.  I could lock the bike up somewhere and leave it overnight, but likely come back to no bike.  I could try and leave it in the bike lot.  Or I could just wobble home on it and try another day.  I decided a stolen bike was out of the question, so I went to the bike lady and asked her if I could leave it in her lot overnight.  She said no...no one would be there to watch it overnight.  So I begged.  My end of the conversation went something like this:  "This (point to seat) (imitate breaking sound and seat falling to ground).  Please is it okay my bike here?  Then tomorrow I come back.  I so many so many walk.  I'm so tired.  This (point to seat) not good.  I can't."  She still refused.  So I put the seat under my arm again...sulked away again...and cried again. 

 

I pulled myself together and bought an iced milk tea.  I drank it and took a minute to feel sorry for myself, and then I continued on.  I put the seat back onto the post and wobbled toward home.  Somewhere along the way my flip flop fell off in the middle of the street and I had to go back for it.  Eventually I gave up and pushed the bike the rest of the way home. 

I think I'll just stick to public transportation this week...

Back to School - Classroom Pictures

Learning Tree and welcome board 

Writing Center and Classroom Library  

View from the door

Carpet/calendar/etc 

Imaginative Play 

Because you can never have too much handprint art.

So amazing...caught in our garden

...and then... 

Beautiful!!! 

Off to a good start in the Buckeye Class!  :)  So thankful and excited for this year!